From Back-to-School to Halloween:

From Back-to-School to Halloween: Learning to Stay Ahead of the Next Parenting Expense

As I'm trying to wrap my head around August ending, I keep thinking about everything that happened during my first official back-to-school season as a parent.

I survived the school shopping. I survived the first day. I survived figuring out what my son actually needed for preschool versus everything I thought he needed.

And then came my next parenting obstacle:

Spirit Week.

Every school day had a different color for the kids to wear.

For the most part, I thought I was prepared. We had almost every color sitting somewhere in my son's closet.

Except orange.

Of course we didn't have orange.

I went to the store and bought him an orange shirt specifically so he could participate. Then I brought it home, put it on him and decided I didn't like the way it looked.

So I returned it.

When orange day arrived, I sent him to school wearing a green shirt with Frankenstein and orange pumpkins on it.

It had orange on it.

That counts, right?

Technically, my son participated in Orange Day.

At least that is what I am telling myself.

When an Orange Shirt Became a Bigger Parenting Question

The funny part is that this tiny situation made me think about something much bigger.

I didn't expect anxiety to creep in over something as simple as a school spirit day, but suddenly I found myself asking two questions:

What kind of parent do I want to be when it comes to my son participating in school events and activities?

And:

Should I buy something he doesn't already have just so he can participate and feel included?

Those questions are probably going to follow me throughout his childhood.

Today, it's an orange shirt.

Later, it could be a field trip, a school fundraiser, a sports uniform, a class project, a birthday celebration or something else I haven't even thought about yet.

I waited 35 years to have a child. Now that I have him, I want to try to do this parenting thing right.

For me, part of that means being involved.

I want to participate in school activities. I want to show up for events. If he decides he wants to play sports, I want to support him there too, as much as my work schedule and time allow.

But being involved doesn't necessarily mean buying something new every time an activity appears on the calendar.

That is the part I am learning.

Sometimes participating might mean buying something strategically during a sale. Sometimes it might mean using something we already have. Other times, I might be able to make something myself.

And sometimes it might mean sending my child to Orange Day in a Frankenstein shirt with orange pumpkins and deciding that is good enough.

My First Back-to-School Shopping Season Wasn't the End of the Shopping

My first back-to-school season involved a little more spending than I expected.

Initially, I thought once the first day of school arrived, I could finally check "back-to-school shopping" off my list.

Not quite.

We are now finishing his fourth week of school, and I'm discovering items he needs that I didn't even know he would need before school started.

My current list includes:

• A poster for the days of the week and his daytime/nighttime routine
• Jumbo crayons
• Age-appropriate scissors
• Glue sticks
• Goodie bags and small items for his classmates for his upcoming birthday
• His first school picture-day outfit
• A binder to organize all the paperwork his teacher sends home

And I'm pretty sure there are more.

I just need to review my phone notes, planner and the random sticky notes currently scattered throughout my home.

The goodie bags were an expense I hadn't planned for at all.

His birthday is coming up in about two weeks, and during the second week of school, parents received an email explaining that food and drinks could no longer be passed out for birthdays because of a recent allergy incident.

That means no cupcakes, snacks or juice.

Instead, if I want him to celebrate with his classmates, I can put together non-food goodie bags.

That's another thing to plan.

Another thing to buy.

Another thing to add to the calendar.

Then September Arrived

This morning, I received an email from a retailer with the subject line:

"Time's ticking on Labor Day Sale savings."

Time is ticking, alright.

How are we already in September?

Didn't I just finish preparing for the first day of school?

Now I'm getting emails and text messages about Labor Day sales. Target is sending me notifications about Halloween merchandise. During a recent Costco trip, I saw Christmas items already appearing in the store.

Christmas!

At this rate, the next time I become fully aware of what month it is, somebody is going to be counting down to midnight on New Year's Eve.

The months aren't slowing down because I'm trying to catch up.

And that realization has made me think differently about both time and money.

Parenting Expenses Don't Always Arrive One at a Time

Before becoming a parent, I don't think I fully understood how many small events can overlap.

Back-to-school shopping isn't necessarily finished when school starts.

There can be picture day.

Spirit Week.

Classroom activities.

Birthdays.

Seasonal clothing.

Halloween.

Thanksgiving.

Christmas.

Family birthdays.

And countless little expenses in between.

None of these things necessarily seems overwhelming by itself.

A few dollars here.

A new shirt there.

Some decorations.

A costume.

A class activity.

But when several happen within a few weeks, the total can grow surprisingly quickly.

That's why I'm realizing that my biggest challenge isn't necessarily finding everything my son needs.

It's learning how to anticipate what's coming before it becomes a last-minute purchase.